I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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