Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
