I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
