I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
