There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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