My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
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I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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