The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Randomize
