he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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