i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
