can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
