saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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