So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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