I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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