You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
