I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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