The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
We have started to decorate penises.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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