Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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