i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
