I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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