If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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