Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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