perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
