u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
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And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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