I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
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