I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
