..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
