i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I feel like I'm in dance class right now
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
