Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
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