Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
