apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
My day in three words: secret purse cake
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
