fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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