So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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