My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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