All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Randomize
