I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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