she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
