only you would photoshop your dick
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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