Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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