o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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