what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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