so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
