his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
