Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How external is "for external use only"?
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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