just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
