lets start a swedish sibling band together
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
