Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
