Three words: puerto rican gang bang
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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