I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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