Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
