there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Randomize