I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
