Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
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The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
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had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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