I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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