I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Randomize