Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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